Confessions of the Epicurially Challenged

Rule # 46 – Learn something from every experience.

Day 1 of vaca:

Scene – Massanutten Summit unit with sister-in-law. Brother and Hub are in the background, “discussing” the political news. We are perusing the weekly events calendar for the site.

S – Let’s do something different.

Me – You don’t want to hit the winery tours?

S – No, we’ve seen them all and no one has invented a new way to make wine.

Me – Ok, so what haven’t we done around here? We are all a bit too decrepit for rafting down the Shenandoah again.

We look. We both agree it must include the lovely fermented grape juice.

Me – How about this? The Winemaker’s dinner? What do you think?

S – Expensive.

Me – Yes, a bit. But what else are we doing to stimulate the local economy around here?

Enter Brother.

S – Yo, what do you think about the Winemaker’s Dinner?

B – How much?

S – (quotes price)

B and Hub – WHAT???!!!

S – But it sounds interesting.

Me – It sounds fattening too. Yeah!

B and Hub – Hmmmm…..

B – What the heck! Let’s do it.

Hub – Make 4 reservations.

And so we did just that.

Fast forward to day 5:

We all arrive on time for the meal. We pay for the experience (ouch!!!). And we enter the dining room.

S – Welcome to the Titanic!

B – Holy crap! This all for me?

Hub – What the….?

Me – Just start on the outside and work your way in.

Seriously, we entered into a dining room set with the high formal table settings. We were anticipating a five course meal with wine. What we got was an experience fit for kings and queens, or at least Food Network exec chefs.

The Winemaker’s Dinner at Massanutten features a local winery and a local chef, who focuses on local ingredients. It’s not a dressy dinner, but the table setting alone reminds you of those company manners your mom taught you all those years ago. The “dressy” ambiance brings out the “polite and civil” in everyone.

We were seated with another couple from Michigan and the six of us bonded immediately… over baseball and football. The evening began with lots of friendly conversation, talking about kids, where we are from, do we own there or trade in. Then, our master of ceremonies began the evening’s educational program by introducing the chef and the winery representative. The chef was an executive chef from one of the onsite restaurants. His credentials were impressive and his training – well, it reminded me of the chefs I brought into the high school classrooms to talk about the career. He described how he shopped at local farms for the ingredients for the evening’s meal. Our winery representative was from Stone Mountain Vineyards. I’ve seen the signs for the vineyard as we drove around the area, but I’d never experienced their wares until this year. Both people gave us an overview of our menu of food and wine for the evening with an approximate timetable. They also explained how the food and wines were matched up. And they introduced us to the kitchen staff, a clear nod to the teamwork that is a professional kitchen.

Then the chef introduced the first course – an appetizer of garlic flan, with a mushroom salpicon. Fresh garlic was used for the flan. The mushrooms were rendered in a wine and butter sauce. It was presented with a garnish of greens. This was paired with a 2011 Pinot Grigio from Stone Mountain. The wine has a gentle taste, for a Pinot, and blended perfectly with the appetizer. The portion size was a small 4-ounce serving placed in front of the individual diner. No sharesies here! And no wine in any glass after the course was finished.

Our second course was billed as a tomato soup with cilantro and jalapeño oil. It was paired with Stone Mountain’s 2010 Chardonnay. The soup was served cold, very appropriate for the 97 degree day. It was also not a smooth puree, like a gazpacho would be. You could see the chunks of tomato and onion in your bowl. The jalapeño oil was lightly drizzled on the top of the presentation. The taste was refreshing and surprising… almost needing nacho chips, but not quite. The white chardonnay set off the spicing in the soup. There was a nice balance of zest between the two menu items. And again, there was no leftover wine.

Then… the salad course. I’m used to a tossed salad with lots of flavors mixed together, with no dressing. We were presented with a small plate of fresh spinach greens, with a generous portion of fresh onions roasted in a berry sauce. This was topped with gorgonzola cheese and roasted pecans, with a bit more berry flavoring for a dressing. It was time for a more imposing wine flavor, so Stone Mountain brought out their Maquillage. This wine was a rose` blend that took our taste buds to a new level. It was a gentle wine that added a bit of punch to the flavors of the berry sauce and gorgonzola cheese. The wine tempered the strong flavors of the food and allowed all essences of the course to blend perfectly. This was, however, our third glass of wine and you could tell a buzz was setting in. Conversations were becoming louder and there was a real party atmosphere developing in the room. Small amounts of wine were left behind, not because of flavor, but in the interest of sobriety.

The main course was next. All the other courses could be deemed vegetarian friendly, but not the main one. We were treated to braised Angus beef shanks with apples and a side of fingerling potatoes.  The beef, apples and potatoes were braised together with fresh roasted garlic, onion, and slight spicing. The food was served “dry” (no gravy, although there was some natural juices on the plate) and presented with a garnish of greens and apples. This was hearty fare, not for the small of appetite. It was paired with a very hearty red wine, Massanutten Mosiac. This wine was a blend specifically for Massanutten Resort and is only sold at one location on the property. It was a smooth compliment to the hearty flavors of the meal. The red wine drinkers among us had no problem finishing our glass and looking for more. The white wine drinkers… not so much. But there was no wine left at the table when the course was finished. All abandoned red wines found a suitable home.

Braised Angus shanks with fingerling potatoes and apples.

Me – Now I know how my Thanksgiving turkey feels… so stuffed.

S – One more course to go. This is going to be a pain to figure the Weight Watcher points for this meal. Oh well, get back to it tomorrow.

Last but not least was dessert. After all the heady flavors we consumed before now, we were all looking for something a bit light and sweet. We were not disappointed. The chef presented us with a slice of apricot pie, garnished with a brandy glaze. Apricots were blended with vanilla custard and placed in a baked pie shell and served cold. Apricot brandy was rendered into a glaze and drizzled over the serving. As stuffed as we were, we had to try it. Does the phrase “epicurial heaven” sound appropriate? It just melted in our mouths. We were served a yellow branch cherry wine as an accompaniment. This was a sweet dessert wine, designed to be sipped in small amounts. The wine was a bit too sweet for my tastes, but the white wine aficionados enjoyed the lightness on the palate.

I look back on this event as a real educational experience. Like I used to do in my classes, I needed to sit and reflect on what I learned for the lesson. Let’s see…. I learned:

1. You can eat well, eat healthy and eat delicious all in the same meal. (Ok, I knew that already as a teacher… prior learning)
2. You need to take your time eating a great meal. Savor the flavors. Enjoy the company. Drink wine if you can.
3. Put yourself out of your comfort zone. I’m not a formal dining person, but I think I held my own through the evening.
4. Chefs like to talk about their products. They like compliments. They are not just kitchen gnomes, to be hidden and ignored.
5. Kids need to experience this event too, without the wine. They could learn formal dining manners, an appreciation for the work in the kitchens, and that food other than Big Macs really do taste good.
6. They will also learn visual portion size. They will learn when enough food is enough – you know, pacing. They will see teamwork in action, in a venue that doesn’t involve a ball.
7.  I want to do this again… and soon.

S, B, Me, Hub - Very soon….

Check out Stone Mountain Vineyards at their website:

http://www.stonemountainvineyards.com/index.php

It’s worth the trip!

Quest for Chocolate and Wine

Rule # 45 – Break the rules occasionally

     It’s a warm, humid afternoon.

     My brother is tearing divots in a local golf course. Hub is catching up on his beauty sleep. Time for me to have another quest…

     My sister-in-law needed a gift for my sister. Sounds convoluted? Not really. My sister does pet sitting. The “Buffinator” is being pet-sat. Hence the need for a gift of some sort for my sister, the pet sitter. We have the perfect gift in mind, but where to find it? We found something Sis-in-law liked at Cross Keys Vineyard. Do they have the exact item we need?

     Back we both go to Cross Keys Vineyard, in search of a painted wine glass with the Phillies logo on it. The one we found was designed for a man. We need the female version. And – voila! – they have it. Step one on this quest is complete. The big problem is the wine. We are looking for a chocolate wine for the pet sitting sister. She’s the one who got us both hooked on Cocoa DaVin – a blend of merlot, chocolate and a cream. It’s a chocolate milk shake with a serious kick! We are now in search of Virginia’s version of Cocoa DaVin – if it exists at all.

     Like the Phillies at the time, we struck out at Cross Keys Vineyard. Their wines are excellent, but nothing with a chocolate flavoring added.

     We decided to head over the mountain ridge on US 33. This trek took us past Standardsville, across Route 29 to Barboursville Vineyards. On the way, it was all the car could do to stay on the road. You see, we passed a house in the mountain holler with laundry hanging on the front porch. Now this, as a picture, was shown to me by my former principal in an effort to share cultural awareness. He said the sight reflected socio-economic issues. Well – may be… but in this neck of the woods it means “Open for business – ‘shine is ready.” The car wanted to turn into the road and see if there was some moonshine available. But, I resisted.

     Now, Barboursville Vineyard is really off the beaten path, so to speak. It’s off US 33, but you need to follow the signs on small, country roads to get to the main building. But what a beautiful building it is! Walk into the main store and set yourself up for a tasting. There are twenty wines to check out, so a tasting at Barboursville should include a designated driver. We could have even had lunch at the Palladio Restaurant on the grounds.

     For my $5 tasting fee, I also brought home my own wine glass. My sister-in-law decided not to do the tasting at this winery, but she did take my advice on the pinot grigio, which is a light, fragrant dry white wine that rolls nicely on the palate.

     I tried about six more wines and found my absolute favorite Cabernet Sauvignon at Barboursville. This dry red wine carries a nice bite, but no tannin aftertaste. This wine would be a plus to any celebration, even if the party is only because it is Friday.

     Purchases in hand, we both left Barboursville, without a chocolate wine.  Surprised? So were we. With all the great red wines Barboursville offers, I was surprised that there was no chocolate version. Well, down the road a piece is Horton Vineyards. Let’s see what they might have.

     We pulled into Horton Vineyard’s drive to see a mini castle. The shop building might look small, but the bricks hold a lot of action. The main winery tour is free and takes you down to the bottom floor of the building. The processing takes place in an area built into the hillside, to keep everything cool. Both of us toured the facility before. We were both on a quest here, so we made tracks to the tasting room.

Tasting at Horton’s is free, too. They have more wine to sample than anyone could safely test in a trip. 

     We took advantage of the Xoco wine, a dessert feature. Horton offers two in this category, a white and a red. We both try the Blanco Xoco … VERY tasty! It starts with rkatsiteli, vidal blanc and the chocolate essence. The balance of the flavors is perfect for both our tastes. Now to try the Rojo Xoco… which is a blend of touriga nacional, syrah and Norton red wines with a dark chocolate essence added. The vineyard advertises that it tastes like a raspberry Tootsie Roll with a kick. It’s a pretty accurate description! I found it too sweet for my tastes, with not enough chocolate essence. My sis-in-law liked it. Neither wine had a creamy texture, like I was used to with Cocoa DaVin.  But now the major decision… which one for the pet-sitter sister?  You’ll never guess… ok, maybe you will. We got her one of each. We figured she could decide which one she liked.

     Both vineyards are close enough to visit in the same day. However, if you are a serious wine taster, visit on a bus trip or have someone else drive you. While the amounts you taste are small, you can still get a nice buzz from your tasting experience. Not safe you are the one behind the wheel! Check out both vineyards on their websites:

Barboursville Vineyards - http://www.barboursvillewine.net/winery/

Horton Vineyards - http://hortonwine.com/

     Quest is complete, for now. Now time to head back over the mountain to our vacation unit. On our way back, we pass the turn off to VA 20 for Montpelier, James Madison’s home. That will have to wait for another day. 

Wait... tomorrow is another day!

Speed bump on Holiday Road

Rule # 43 – Always look on the bright side of life (Pythonism, not a Gibbsism) 

     Time shares… the only way, some years, our family even had a vacation. It’s great to get away, to fun places we would never have even considered visiting, unless we were staying close by. Plus, the room part is already bought and paid for. We can vacation as frugally or extravagantly as our current finances allow.

     We have a time share at Massanutten Resort and we really enjoy our unit and just the get-away from the day-to-day back home. We have timeshare too, with another company and are now able to get away to a number of different places each year.  We always look forward to these vacations. The trips get us to places we can explore for history. They are highlights of our years.

     One part of a time share vacation is the inevitable sales breakfast. When you check in, the sales people meet you and set you up for the “free” breakfast so they can “update you about the resort, and let you know how the timeshare industry has changed in the past year”. There’s always a freebee at the end of the presentation, too. But you have to sit through the whole thing to collect.

     We’ve refused to attend in the past. That wasn’t a problem. But this year we decided to sit through it to see what the new pitch would be. It is a game with Hub and me now. Let them throw anything at us and see what we will hit. We double dog dared them!

     The day started as expected. We are checked into the breakfast and met by our starting pitcher. She is a pleasant person, very conversational and not at all pressuring at this point. We start the process with a “survey” of our experiences at the resort. What did we like about it, what would we change? How long have we been coming here? You know, the basic stuff about our experiences so far.

     Then we head off – in her car – to the restaurant for the breakfast. The game strategy is to keep us there so we can’t walk out if things get uncomfortable. Nice going, sales manager. Things stay light for this part of the game. Conversation is about our time vacationing and what we like to do. We eat from the breakfast bar. Drink coffee. She pitches a few things and we knock them down. We finish up there with the fastball – “let me take you over to one of our properties and show you what we have that’s new”.

     The game starts getting intense now. Score is still sales – 0, us- 0. She drives us over to the newest, high-end resort property we’ve seen in a while. These things are real luxury – if that’s what you are after on a vacation. The view from the unit is spectacular. You don’t have to leave the house to enjoy your vacation. I could cook in a full kitchen for the whole vacation.

     Not leave the house and cook for a week – and this is a vacation? I can do that at home. Forget about it!

     We both agreed that the place was nice. We were on base now. We all headed back to sales center where the pitching continued. She talked to us about the high-end place we just saw. She tried to convince us that we wouldn’t get our weeks next year unless we switched to a new plan in a new place. We wouldn’t be able to trade since our week “floats” and is not a fixed week. Hub says, “When we trade we book and fix a week, then we deposit it. It is a fixed week when we trade.” He hit a curve ball and got a base hit. We have the bases loaded now. Things get tense. Sales brings in a middle reliever. The fellow is a nice, soon-to-be-retired fellow who focuses on me. He ignores the Hub totally and asks me where I want to stay – where I am or in the fancy place we just saw. He catches his breath as I say, “Where I am.”

     “What? I don’t understand how you can pass this up.” One run in… yeah!

     I explain that we don’t vacation to sit around. We tour; we enjoy off the resort. We just need a place for a quick meal and to hang our head at night.

     The pitcher tries again. “They can afford it,” he says to the starting pitcher who stayed beside him. “No, we can’t.” But none of that is anyone’s business, especially these sales people. The middle reliever took himself out of the game when he saw he wasn’t getting anywhere. The starting pitcher made one last lob. We kept saying, “No thanks”. Another hit and another run.

     Last stop was a quick closing pitch from the final check out sales person. He talked so fast that we just said “No” to everything he said. His leg kept going up and down like he was beyond hyper. Then we got handed off to another person to collect our end game prize. “We need names of people to contact for possible sales weekends.” We gave them one name and some bogus phone numbers. This was the icing on the cake. Enough already!

     We won this one. We only lost 3 hours of vacation time but we have some freebees to use for the rest of the week. We earned this win.

     Now we went into this breakfast knowing full well what was going to happen. We’ve been to others where the pitchers – all of them – have been rude, high pressure, strung out or all of the above. These sales people and the experiences they provide really do NOT represent the vacation property well, at least to those of us who are on vacation. I realize these people are only doing their job, but…. These experiences put a temporary damper on the concept of vacation.

     But I must confess a bit of evil glee from the sales process this year. You see, they use Chapter 1, 2 and 3 of the Marketing textbook I had in college. I know what they are going to do, and the order in which they will complete their mission. I know their end game. Yes, it gets me frosted when it happens, but it’s so much fun trying to beat them at their own game. It’s almost a challenge. And yes, we have pulled the ultimate marketing kiss-off by walking out on the sales person in the middle of a pitch. It really does help to “Know thine enemy” and the rules they are using, so you can beat them at their own game.

     Yes, I know that marketing course soured me on shopping forever. But I am not sorry at all. It’s made me a more aware consumer, who parts with her hard-earned bucks carefully. My purchases are my choices, and not because it’s the cool thing, the latest thing, the most dazzling thing… I either need it or can afford to want it. There was, is now, and ever more shall be the truth in the phrase, “Self, you can NOT afford this.” And guess what, kiddies? It’s NOT so bad… really!

     Well so much for the speed bump in the road of our Virginia vacation. I’m thinking to quest for more wine, visiting more wineries… sitting poolside for a bit…

     Ahhhh…… much better!

     Namaste`, y’all!

My Sanity Cause! Part 3 - the Quest for Relaxation

Rule #38 – Seek balance

     You know how some days, you’re the pigeon? Some days, you’re the statue? And other days, you just fly? You never get the “fly” time for any length of time. At least I don’t. More often than not, I’ve got my share of “statue” days, where it seems that the whole world is just a-crappin’ all over me.

     Vacations are about finding some balance in your life… living like a pigeon for a bit. It’s a time to unwind some… or just fly and enjoy the view.

     The vacation resort at Massanutten – bless them! – has lots of planned activities for us big kids. One that both families like to take in is the weekly Craft Fair/Cocktail party. I know it sounds like an odd combination, but it works. Each Monday in the summer, the ski lodge deck is transformed with local crafts people selling their wares. Some of the trip vendors who operate from the resort set up shop and sign people up for the day trips. You may even find your local neighborhood author, available for sales and autographs!

     One of the biggest reasons to check out this event is the wine tasting (now there’s a surprise). This year, the resort added beer tasting to the event. For a flat fee, you get to sample Stone Mountain winery’s fruits and/or the brewery’s brews. Yes, there is cheese with the wine. Some great mini meatballs, too. It really becomes a cocktail party as you discuss your reactions to the tastings, how the rude Yankee fans cut in front of you in line, what you will taste next, who do you see about refilling the cheese tray…. You know all the important things in life. With each tasting of wine or beer, you can feel the stress evaporate from your soul.

     I got a chance to talk some “shop” too, with Anne Mullen. She’s the local author I mentioned above, a resident of nearby Standardsville VA. My daughter bought one of her books last year and had it read cover to cover before we checked out at the end of the week. She bought the next in the series, and I got the third. Now it’s swap time!!!  Yes, my professional writing goal is to write for kids. But I need to read adult books too, to become exposed to different writing styles. You can never learn too much in this biz. Hmmm, is a book review in my near blog future?

     Well, if you can’t relax at a cocktail party – even an outdoor one – you have a bit of a problem. After that cocktail party, the ladies had no problems at all….. yay-ah!

     Then, my sister-in-law, my daughter and I took our already chilled out selves to the Massanutten Spa for our massage and facial. We were going for the super chillax on this day.

     The Spa is housed in its own building now, near the Woodstone Recreation Center. They offer a variety of services from massages and facials, to manicures, pedicures, sports massages and more. It’s not just a chick thing, either. Men and women avail themselves of the therapeutic massages, individually and as couples.

     You enter the building to the sound of an indoor water feature. Relaxing music plays throughout the whole building. You can’t check in without starting to chill out.

     The massage therapists tailor the massage to your needs at the moment. If you are having trouble with a joint, or you pulled something pitching your golf clubs at a woodchuck, the therapists at the Spa will work to loosen up and relieve as much pain as possible. My therapist focused on my neck, shoulders and upper back, since she found they were extremely tight. (All hail, computer work!) She also worked a sports cream into my arthritic knee. During the facial, she also went back to the shoulders and neck. I must have been wound up tight! But after that one-hour session, I felt like I could take on the world and all the pigeons in it. I could fly!

     The saddest part of this event is the cold towel… the signal that the facial and massage are about over. Oh well, all good things have to come to an end… even massages. But you couldn’t help but feel relaxed, at peace with the world.

     Check it all out at  http://www.massresort.com/v.php?pg=471.

     How long that peaceful, easy feeling lasts is up to you. For me, it was mission accomplished today on the quest for relaxation. Now to keep this feeling going…

     Ohmmmmmmmmmm…….

My Sanity Cause! - Part 2

Rule # 24 – Practice all types of writing

     It’s only a short, 15-minute drive down a 2-lane country road. You drive past farms where the corn is looking high and sweet for a hot August day. You drive past pastures of dairy cattle lazing in the fields in the hot sun. You turn off this country road onto a smaller one that rolls further into the valley. On the top of one of the swells of hills sits your destination for a wonderful adult afternoon – Cross Keys Vineyard in Mt. Crawford, Virginia.

     As you turn into the vineyard’s long drive, you see the main house sitting high on another hill, a vision reminiscent of Tuscany. Drive past the ripening grapes, to the main lot, and prepare for an adventure to satisfy any wine palate. Stand on one of the outdoor patios, and look off into the distance, into the Virginia hillside. This vineyard is nestled between two ridges of the Shenandoah. On a clear day, you can see the Shenandoah Park forest to the east and the start of the Blue Ridge Mountains to the west. The vista includes a patchwork of fields, farms and forests as far as the eye can see.

     Cross Keys Vineyards run winery tours daily. Step into their Tasting Room and store, and relax. Tours run regularly throughout the afternoons. Take the “Grapes to Glass” tour and you’ll find a winery that will still age wine in barrels, not just in stainless steel casks. The busy season is almost upon them too. Harvest time tours will show you how the grape sorting happens and how that delicious beverage gets its start. Visit at harvest time and watch the grape presses in action.

     After your tour, enjoy a wine tasting. Sample the fruits of the vineyard to suit yourself. Go for a sampling of either just reds or just whites for $5. Sample them all for $8. Treat yourself to lunch in the Tasting Room or on the patio. Make a full day of your visit. Don’t forget to bring home a “souvenir” bottle or two.

     Now, I’m no sommelier, by any stretch. But I know what wines I like and will return to those wines over and over. At Cross Keys, of the few white wines they produce, I found their Joy White to be outstanding. This time, however, I could taste the oak barrel ageing in the Chardonnay. The red wines from this vineyard are spectacular. Four varieties – Pinot Noir, Merlot, Petit Verdot and Meritage – all got the highest personal rating during the taste test. The Meritage is a blend of the other reds and is so smooth in the mouth… like buttah! The vineyard offers one port wine, Tavern. For those who enjoy a red wine with incredible body, this one is for you. Devout chocoholics can pair this wine with their favorite food for the ultimate epicureal experience.

      Visiting this winery is an excellent way to begin a vacation… or to end a vacation. Visiting is also not just a summertime thing. While the hours of operation change with the colder weather, they do not close. Cross Keys Vineyards continue to host wine tasting events, and is available for private events, like weddings. It’s a wonderful, picturesque backdrop to any event in your life.

     Mt. Crawford is outside of Harrisonburg, Virginia, just off Interstate 81. The winery is only 3 hours south of Washington DC. Now, folks in the DC metro area, that’s a day trip for us. You have no excuse to get out and enjoy Cross Keys Vineyards. If you are looking for more information on the winery events and hours, check out the website http://www.crosskeysvineyards.com. This gem is off the beaten path, but well worth the trip.

Slainte`!

My Sanity Cause!

Rule # 37 – Everything is better with friends and family

     Vacation! Just the word rolling off the tip of the tongue causes joy in my heart. The fact that I can get away from the house, to another place…. Ahhhh, such peace and comfort, I need it bad.

     This has been quite a summer for Hub and me. Through the spring, we made plans to do a major renovation of our kitchen and dining room, got Bay Kitchens in Baltimore to handle the design project, picked out all the elements for the renovation, and started parting with some hard saved-up greenbacks. Then our fuzz-buddy, Rusty, died. We had to move past the grief to get the two rooms ready to get crashed. Throw in a few visits from family members and friends during the crash time. The craziness started on June 11. It’s now August 11 and the two rooms look pretty darn good. Bills are paid off. We can get back to normal – whatever that is.

     So when this vacation came up, we both jumped at it. We needed to get away from paint fumes and spackle dust. So off we go to Massanutten Resort in Virginia. We have a time share week there. So does one of my brothers. Both families plan to vacation there at the same time every year. We invite others to join us for one big, week-long party.

     Massanutten is in the Shenandoah Mountains in Virginia. The resort is a Four Seasons resort, since it’s home to several ski trails as well as plenty of summer activities. The location is smack dab in the middle of Virginia wine country too. They offer day trips by coach bus from the resort to a number of places. It’s a place where there’s lots to do in the summer, besides the usual swimming and golf. And you can use the place as a starting point for other day trips in the western part of Virginia.

     My brother’s unit is a Friday to Friday use. He usually shows up late on Friday evening. We are right on his tail, to squeeze an extra day or two out of the vacation time. Our unit use is Sunday to Sunday. We check into our place on Sunday after bunking with the bro for a night or two. When he checks out on Friday, he becomes our guest until Sunday. This way we both get a 10 day vaca!

     The units there are fully furnished with well-equipped kitchens. We can spend as little or as much time in the unit as we want. We can eat in, or eat out. The resort is near Harrisonburg, Virginia, and James Madison University. So with a college town, comes college eateries… and drinkeries. Lots of choices and all close by.

     My brother has a fantastic view of the mountain side from his unit. He gets a cool breeze even on hot days. Our unit is in the valley, but also has a great view. We get the cool breezes too. And we get a chance to see some of the local wild life up close and personal. You can’t go anywhere on the resort grounds without seeing deer crossing the roads. Our buddy, “Chuck”, came right up to the back deck to say hey! By the way, “Chuck” is one of the several woodchucks who routinely give the golf course groundskeepers reasons to go a bit postal, a lot like Bill Murray’s character in “Caddyshack”.

     Now that we are checked in, the first thing to do is a bit of planning. My brother is a golfer. My husband is a history buff. My nephew and his friend are both game for anything. My sister-in-law and I are game for anything, too, but we also want to spend some serious money. We all enjoy swimming. We’ve even tubed down the Shenandoah River together. The adults really enjoy visiting wineries and sampling the wares. Oh yeah…. we really enjoy the wineries.

Step 1 in planning – when do we schedule our massage? Our daughter will be there at the same time, so plan for 3 massages with facials. Check!

Step 2 – do we want to do a bus trip this year? They run a day trip to Washington D.C. But we live outside of D.C. Why take a bus to come half way home again? Not doing that one.

Step 3 – what wineries haven’t we toured or tasted at? We want to return to Cross Keys Vineyard for specific purchases. Oh, and do they have a chocolate wine, do you remember? Better visit and check it out. If Cross Keys doesn’t have one, somebody must. We must find chocolate wine.

Step 4 – how much history do we really want to do? We’ve seen Montecello, Thomas Jefferson’s home, several times. We’ve eaten at Michie Tavern several times. We’ve toured New Market Battlefield and museum several times too. What haven’t we seen yet? Ahhhh, a quest for newness this trip!

Step 5 – who is cooking what evening? Where will we eat when we are not at home? And what DVD’s did you bring for the after dinner movie?

Step 6 – do we really have to do the sales breakfast? Is it worth it? Hmmm…..

Step 7 – with all this planned, now the bro can schedule tee times, Hub can schedule naps, and the rest of us can schedule pool time.

     Hoo, boy! After a week away, I should have lots of blog ammunition courtesy of Massanutten Resort. There’s plenty to write about, enough for several blog entries here alone. And, I can practice travel writing. Vacations… not just for fun anymore!

     Now the biggest thing to remember is to not need a vacation from our vacation. We have to get some rest this week. Let’s see, there are a few hours on Friday afternoon…. Ah, what the heck, let’s just enjoy the week and pack in as much stuff as we can. We can sleep when we get back to work.

     Wait a minute… I’m retired…. Sort of…

Retail "Therapy"?

Rule # 22 – Question everything

     I never really got what was so great about shopping. I’m not talking about those procurement missions where you are out for specific reasons. I’m talking about the sport of shopping – those who have nothing better to do than to walk around a mall and buy stuff.

     “Come on, Martha. Let’s go see what they got at the local WalMart (or mall) this week.” Buddy, it’s the same old stuff that was there last week. The only thing that changes is where they put it.

     “But this is ‘on sale’. We gotta take advantage of the sale. I mean it’s 20% (or 30% or 40%) off!” Buddy, EVERYTHING is “on sale”. Some prices are just higher than others on a regular basis. By the way, if things are marked down so drastically, how much profit was the store making BEFORE the sale. Don’t know of too many companies willing to “take a hit” in this economy.

     I have to admit, that if you are a sincere people watcher like I am, a trip to the mall or the store is great entertainment. You see some of the craziest people there. Some pictures of the more bizarre outfits have been circulating on the internet. And they have been doozies, too. I’ve seen more body parts in those pictures than I did in college semesters of biology and anatomy and physiology. Many of the subjects still need to be able to say “no” to crack… and not the drug, either.

     I guess people really don’t know how bad they look in some of the latest fashions. It’s hard to deal with people who wear spandex over obesity. These people have more rolls than a bakery, and they have them shrink wrapped in leggings, sweat pants, spaghetti strapped tops, cleavage-displaying tops and “wife beater” tee shirts. Mental eraser!!! Mental eraser!!!!

     This penchant for perusing retail establishments begs the answers to a few philosophical questions:

1. How much stuff can you really have?
2. Are you replacing stuff or adding to the collection?
3. When it’s a gorgeous day, why are you inside a store and not outside enjoying life?

Like I said before, I just don’t get it. Why do people just shop?

     Now I do remember spending time at the mall as a teen. My first job was at the Woolworth’s in Moorestown. The mall was a great place to meet other teens. In Philly, it was the street corner. In Jersey, it was the mall. We hung out, walked around, maybe looked at stuff in the windows, but usually we were too busy trying to look cool, and attractive to care what stores were around. We’d visit the food court just to sit down and look cool and attractive. It was a place to meet people that didn't go my school.

      Now as an adult, the mall is the last place I want to be in a spirit of fun. I find those same teens (like I was) who are slowly strolling – or parading- very irritating. I want to get my stuff and get out. And the stroller people… I know you have to have a place to wheel your little ones, but please treat the stroller as a wheeled vehicle. Drive it and pay attention please! I’m tired of getting my ankles bruised by people not watching where they are going.

     More questions for mall peeps:

     Is your neighborhood so bad that you need to have your kids play all day at the mall playground? Ok, once in a while, but I know some people who make the mall a regular destination.

     Must you be on the phone in any store? I can understand a quick “Honey, is this really what you want?” But I’ve been privy to some wild and crazy conversations at high volume that take place on the cell in the produce section of a grocery store. And while choosing cucumbers too… (use your imagination!)

     And please, when conversing in any tone, be careful what you say to others. Profanity does not become anyone, regardless of race, creed or orientation. So please stop dropping the F-bomb. Have a little more respect for the mouth that feeds you than to speak such garbage.

     Gee, as I read this over, I keep looking over my shoulder for Jeff Dunham. I’m sounding more and more like Walter with every sentence. “Hi! Welcome to WalMart! Get you sh.. and get out!”

     Or maybe Walter is on to something…

     I know I was raised in a different time and place. Or was it really so different? Or is it just people who are different now? Or society as a whole? Where is courtesy?

     Anyway….

      It’s nice sometimes to vent in the form of philosophical questioning. It helps to solve some of the overarching questions of life, at least in my own mind. I have a strange feeling I’m not alone in my thoughts, either. We all talk about it, but what do we do about it?

     Some people go shopping.

     I come here…and write....