....On the Eve of Destruction

Rule # 15 -  Write your observations

It begins. 

Before!

The crash starts at 8:30 am on a Monday morning with the demo of the old kitchen. Everything goes. Some of it was already donated.

And the process still totally amazes me!

And it got me to thinking, too, how easy it is to take something down, or out.

Our contractor scheduled 2 days for demolition of the old kitchen. We started with the carpenter ripping out the cupboards, a wall, and fixtures. He had everything out in one day. He even got it all to the dump and cleaned up his mess, too. One day! Easy, right? Next day the guys from the flooring contractor ripped out the tile and carpeting, and cleaned up after themselves, too. One day and done! The wallpaper came down on Wednesday morning. And that was it!

Forty years ago all that kitchen stuff was new, state-of-the-art, and sparkling. Now it was dust and garbage. Way too easy!

When I watch the home dec shows on HGTV or DIY, the owners always say the demo is such a satisfying thing to do. Just think… you smash! You take a sledge hammer to a wall and beat the stuffins’ out of it. It’s more stress relief than a Whack-a-Mole game on the Boardwalk.

It made me think… if tearing down stuff is this easy, how easy is it to tear down a relationship? Seriously, how many of us took one second and then regretted what we said or did because it tore someone down? The kitchen demo can be turned around and fixed. “I’m sorry” doesn’t always fix relationships. It doesn’t always fix events.

Back when I was still a classroom teacher, I heard way too many kids pump out “I’m sorry” as a reflex. They would say something, see the reaction and then apologize.  The problem was, the kids never changed their behavior patterns or attitudes.  They continued to act like jerks and apologize, thinking that all was well. What was the point of the apology then?

An “I’m sorry” without a change in behavior or attitude is no more than hot air and empty words… and there’s enough of that going around.

That was a difficult concept to hammer into a pre-teen’s head. Or a teenager’s, for that matter. Or many adults, to add insult to injury. Even my own rather thick, Irish-German skull… 

When I look at our construction schedule, there are 2 ½ days allotted for demolition and 3 ½ weeks for the rebuild, with an extra 2 weeks added in for settling and “surprise issues”.  Easy take-down, but hard to rebuild. And a process that takes a long time to complete.

I have lots of friends who have gone through relationship issues. Some divorced and called it quits. Some stuck with the relationship to try to work things out. In both scenarios, trust was the ultimate victim of the behavior choice. After the behaviors tore down the relationship, neither person in the relationship could trust the other for a long time… or ever again. I saw that with parent-child relationships, too. The child got involved with a bunch of loser friends, started taking the parents’ love and bail-out acceptance for granted, and the parents could never trust their own child again. Love may still have existed. Bailing out may still have continued. But trust died a nasty death on the altar of  “It’s all about ME”. Sometimes trust came back, but it took a long, long time.

It takes 3 minutes to lose someone’s trust. It takes a lifetime to regain it. Trust has friends like loyalty and fidelity. Without these, there is no trust.

So the demo of the kitchen is done. Now I have to trust that the crafts people know what they are doing as we rebuild. I have to trust their skill and expertise to have my plans come to fruition. And I have to trust that I will not interfere with their work. My husband and I decided long ago, that this job was a pro job. For the most part, the skills needed were beyond our do-it-yourself skill set. Now to trust…

Demolished!

Flashback to teaching again… My eighth grade kids did a career unit. We used a curriculum plan called “The Real Game” to help them learn job acquisition skills and how to live within their means, among other things. It was always an eye opener for both the kids and myself. I could never get over the idea that kids literally fought to be the doctor, lawyer, or politician in the job community we established, because of the money or fame factors. No one wanted to be the carpenter, or the plumber, or the auto mechanic, or the electrician - the get-your-hands-dirty jobs. They had the idea that you got into those jobs only if you flunked out or dropped out of college. They were convinced that you were not smart enough to go to college if you got into those types of trades. Then we looked at the education needed for the trades and compared it to a college degree ladder. Full master trades people have an education in their field that is equivalent to a PhD. And they have experience in their field. And they have already used their education to make money in their field. And they tend to be able to charge their job worth for their labor. That’s more than many college grads can say, even today. It took a while for them to get the idea that EVERY job - as well as every person IN the job - in a community is valuable, not just the high paying ones.

I wonder how many still get that point. Schools don’t seem to, especially when they take the trades out of the building’s total curriculum, and shove kids toward a 4-year degree, whether the kid likes it or not.

Well, now the rebuilding process starts. And I totally trust the crafts people coming into my house and working on it. I am in awe of their knowledge. I will try to snatch tidbits of “how-to” from them as they work. I need to watch the masters at work.

Wish me luck!

About my stuff...

Rule #35 - No profanity please.

     It’s crash time. It’s a major renovation project for us. Not just a coat of paint on the walls… even then, we both tend to add vocabulary to the English language. Little did I know the snowball effect on my life this project would have.

     We contracted to have our kitchen gutted and redone, and to put hardwood flooring through into the dining room. And, as they say, the prep work is the hardest and longest. So true here.

     It took us over a year to get planning for this project underway. It took longer to save the money for it, but we did it. We found our contractor, got our design done, got the components ordered, got a construction schedule, and now have deadlines to have things done. That was easy, compared to the next steps. Emptying both rooms was a taxing and enlightening experience, to say the least. It was time to rearrange all of our stuff.

     Lucky for us, my sister-in-law works for Hallmark. They may have overpriced cards and kitschy gifts, but they ship stuff to their stores in great boxes. We started to pack up as if we were going to do the one thing my husband wants to do most - move away from the over-taxed life in Maryland!

     Before we could do anything with the boxes, though, we needed some packing material. Hmmmm… what would work? I know, I’ve been meaning to clean out the linen closet. We could use the old towels and sheets as packing material. Genius! And, oh, the treasures I found. My husband has over 30 pair of socks that were stuffed in the linen closet, just waiting for him to wear out what he had and pull them into use. We found underwear that we bought on sale, for both of us. Uh oh…. Time to clean out my underwear drawer! The trash dudes are going to love us this week! Closet and drawers, done and done. Back is a bit sore, but I’ll live. And language stayed civil, for a change.

     Now we have a pile of linens and towels decorating the dining room. Time to pack up the china cabinet, an old book case and a media storage cabinet. I would pull stuff out, wrap it up and turn around to more stuff. It looked like the stuff morphed into rabbits and kept reproducing all over the dining room table. I pulled out and boxed up more stuff. Holy (insert cuss word of choice here)!

     Now I needed a place to store the stuff in boxes…. Hmmmm… empty living room corners. That’s the ticket! We hauled the boxes into the living room and stuff them behind the furniture. We have boxes stacked 4 and 5 high near the fireplace. Dining room stuff is on one side, and kitchen stuff on the other. Ok, we can now move around the living room again…sort of. Those boxes were heavy and hard on the knees. (Insert fresh sets of cuss words)

     Next job is the kitchen. Now we have to be organized. What will we need for the four weeks of the renovation and what can we do without? We packed that up accordingly. Wait a minute… I forgot to set up a cook station in the living room. Move stuff around. Ok… got that covered now.

     I now have to crawl into those inaccessible nooks and crannies in the back of the lower cupboards. Hmmmm… I found antique food stuff! How did we get 3 bottles of Karo light (for candy making and when I cat-sit my grand kitty who is diabetic)? What is this molasses stuff? Wow, we do have grits, so scratch that off the grocery list. How many instant puddings do we really need? That can looks funky, so don’t even bother opening it and trying to recycle the can. Chuck it all. Keep the oriental rice noodles, though. (Creative language use course is now paying off)

     Everyone has a junk drawer in their kitchen. You know, the one that magnetically attracts rubber band, twist ties, General Mills box tops for education bits, pens, pencils, crayons, magnets… and so on. I thought I was so cool limiting myself to 1 junk drawer (in that room). Now to go through all that stuff. Pens that don’t work will no longer live in that drawer. Pencils can be sharpened and kept. I’m seeing a pattern here… keep the old school that doesn’t fail and lose the new school stuff that wears out. (Fresh assortment of cuss words used here)

     Purging kitchen gadgets has to happen too. What have I used recently? Hmmmm…. Short list here. Pull out the 5 or 6 items and keep them with the cooking utensils. Box the rest and they will probably be donated when we restock the shelves.

     Well, everything is now out, boxed, organized, moved… all that stuff from 2 rooms, consolidated down into boxes, tote bags, grocery bags and 2 plastic bins (for the food stuff).  I can’t believe how much stuff we accumulated in those rooms. We now have 3 rooms temporarily in 1 and find ourselves crawling all over our stuff. Language gets creative as we accidentally stub toes on boxes of stuff and get feet tangled in cords for our electrical stuff.

     Someone once told me that profanity is a lazy mind trying to sound important. There is some truth to that phrase, especially when you hear profanity-laced speech coming out of people’s mouths for the heck of it. I hear people use the F-word and make it sound like an exhale. Don’t these people know any other adjectives? What’s the point of sounding coarse? But then, if you are hurt, or angry, what’s a choice word or two going to hurt? We just don’t need a stream of obscenities… that is so NOT cool.

     It’s all I can do to keep my language clean through this process. Doing all right so far, I’ve got to say. Hope it stays that way…. Well, it should. After all, moving the stuff back into the rooms should be more fun than moving it out. It should be like Christmas all over again. Then I get to rethink about how much stuff I really do need.

     George, help me out here!!! Tell me about your stuff…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac

(George Carlin - Stuff, from Comic Relief, HBO)

Now, how much stuff do you really need? Hmmmmm……

dining room stuff

kitchen stuff

And we are living in one room right now...

On fur... and love

Rule #9 - Do not fear emotion

June 5, 2012 - a day that will tear at my heart forever.

     It’s incredible how you remember specific days. I can tell you exactly what I was doing the day President Kennedy was shot. My recollections of 9/11 are still clear as anything. June 5 is another day that will stay with me, because that’s the day we lost our 18 year old dog, Rusty. I will always remember that day, and the few days that lead up to that one. Emotions of those days are still raw and spill out in tears every now and then. The rawness will heal, I’m sure. Until then,......

    This dog was a real family member. I can remember my son and I trolling our Animal Control shelter looking for a dog for my husband as a Father’s Day gift in 1994. We argued about the size of the dog. He wanted big dogs, so they could intimidate anyone who would dare hurt his parents. I wanted a medium-sized dog that looked a bit like our previous hound. I won. After all, his dad and I weren’t getting any younger. A big dog took more space and energy than I was ready to give up. Plus, my son was in college and leaving home for good soon. It was the parents’ dog, not his. He could get his own dog… which he did.

     As we walked into the dog area, I saw those eyes staring back from his cage. He was only 6 months old at the time. He looked so scared and sad. We passed by and gave the other dogs a chance to melt my heart, but we ended back with Rusty. He was called Timber then. His previous family gave him up and left him tied to the fence at Animal Control with his blue blanket. The workers at the shelter found him waiting for them on Monday morning. No one claimed him or wanted him, and he was one day away from that “last shot”. Guess where he ended up?

     We gave my husband a picture of him for Father’s Day. My husband got teary eyed when we told him what we did. Later that week, after his starter shots and a good “fixin’”, our “stallion” came home to our house.

     It was a tenuous start. Rusty wanted to be in charge. Guess his last owner wasn’t too big into pooch discipline. Russ also thought every concave article was his personal food bowl. He helped himself to trash from the trash can, ½ pound of raw bacon from a bowl on the counter (he was fast, too), and some candy from a candy dish on the coffee table. He learned very quickly that his new home was shared with humans and they were in charge, not him. He definitely liked to play, but not really rough. Rusty’s predecessor loved to wrestle. Not Rusty. No bites but he made his displeasure at my son’s pinning him very clear.

     He was also a bit of a drama king. If you accidentally stepped on his paw, he would yelp as you would expect. Then he would limp around and whimper until he got more attention and sympathetic loving.  Once his attention needs were met, he was fine.

     He chose his “alpha” and that was me, for the most part. When my husband and I would cuddle up on the couch, he was right there. When we would hug, he was right there at my feet. He would try to nuzzle in and we would all “group hug”. He was fine with that, as long as he was part of it all. My daughter was still in high school at the time Rusty arrived and the two of them bonded immediately. Rusty made it quite clear that any fellow she dated had to pass the Rusty test. Even if he passed, when they would sit together, the dog wormed his way between them both. No one was going to take his sister from him.

     As the years went by, Rusty proved his worth as a guard dog. His bark was loud and forceful. He did have a tendency to bark at everything, including rolling beer cans. But our neighbors loved the fact that he was alert, loud and intimidating with his bark. His was not a nuisance bark. It was a “Hey, I see something and you have to tell me if it’s friend or foe” type of bark. Usually the neighbors would yell, “Hey Rusty” and he would stop barking. He knew voices too. The only bane of his existence was little kids. He did not like any little crumb snatcher horning in on his territory. He looked at them like they were prey, or a side-dish. We kept him away from little kids. But he loved being around adults!

     Our first inkling that he was going downhill was at 14 years old. Rusty was running like his normal goofy self, chasing this squirrel that drove him crazy. We heard a yelp and he fell down. Then he got up and was limping while he continued to chase the squirrel. Our dog managed to tear his ACL. Well, he was running pass routes like an offensive back, wasn‘t he? But, who thought of knee trouble? His surgery fixed the problem and stunned the vet when he recovered. Dr. Mike couldn’t believe that he made such a great recovery at 14 years old. Rusty was 15 ½ when his popped his other ACL. At that point, surgery was not recommended because of his age. Rusty still defied the odds when he recovered and went on to keep squirrels and blue jays in his sights, chasing them as far as possible. I swore one day we would find him stuck to a tree trunk, because he thought he could climb the tree after the squirrel.

     It was about that time, too, that he started with demadectic mange. We spent the better part of 2 years clearing that issue up once and for all. Again, we also had amazed vets! How could this guy go “Timex” on them? He took lickins and kept on tickin’. Our fuzz-guy was a fighter for sure.

     He was just about to turn 17 when he had his first episode of adult dog vestibular disease. Those symptoms mimic a stroke with seizure. Rusty walked around after the episode listing to the port side and shaking his head. When we took him to the vet for this problem, we all decided it was time for poochie hospice -time for care and comfort for whatever time he had left. Many dogs don’t shake out of the seizure, but Rusty bounced back. It took him about 2 weeks, but he was up and around. That was Christmas 2010. The next year as his 18th birthday hit, you could see deterioration a bit more. But he was still eating, drinking, peeing and pooping at the correct times and in the correct places. He would have another seizure or two but always come back.

     We knew in March it wouldn’t be too much longer that he was with us. His decline was steady and he started with occasional accidents. By May, he was having a hard time walking. We stopped getting him upstairs at night and started to sleep downstairs with him. Yes, he went back to having to go out in the middle of the night. Neither my husband nor I wanted to make the call. But circumstances forced our hand.

     When Dr. Mike walked in that last house call visit, he looked at a fighter who was just plain tired. He checked him out and said that, even if we didn’t call, he would not have lasted more than a week or two. Mike was glad we called and asked for him. Then he explained the process…

     Rusty was laying on the blue blanket that he brought with him from the pound 18 years ago. He sat up, and looked at Mike, my husband and I. Then he knew what was going to happen and laid down on his blanket. Mike gave him the sedative and Rusty started snoring. Then the last shot… no sound, no drama, just peace and quiet in his favorite sleeping spot next to the couch. And tears, from me, my husband and Dr. Mike. Rusty was ready.

     My husband picked up his cremains today. Rusty now rests in a gorgeous box and sits on our picture window sill. It’s the same window he would stand at when he knew it was time for me to come home from work. He would check every knock at the door and every car sound from the driveway from that spot at the window. Now he can keep doing what he did best from his favorite spot - guarding and welcoming us and all who enter.

     Like I said before, my emotions are still raw. I’m crying as I type. I know, as a bereavement minister and former health teacher, that I need to experience all the emotions of grief. Lord knows I cried for about 3 days before his passing. I’m surprised I have any more tears left to shed. But sometimes the best writing comes from raw emotion. I’m not sure if this is my best writing or not. But I hope you got a chance to know Rusty from this piece. And I hope you will also be able to experience the fantastic joy a pet can bring to your life.

    We both miss Rusty so much. The day after his death, we ran errands, and on our way home, we passed Animal Control. It took all our efforts not to turn in. But, we need to honor Rusty by grieving for him. Perhaps at a later date, we will get another dog. We’ve already had 3 and each one had their own personalities. Even our late cat, Duffy, had his own goofy personality. 

     I keep remembering a line from the Muppet Christmas Carol. “Life is a series of meetings and partings. That is the way of it.” It’s a line spoken by one of my favorite animals, Kermit the Frog. And it’s true… you can’t have the happy days without the sad. This is one of the sad parts of life that we just have to experience and cope with the best we can.

     Good bye, sweet Fuzz. We will meet again, I know it.

                                                          <sniff>

O‘s, Magic-al Natitude!

Rule #22 - Question everything         

Rule  #40 Be grateful

      It’s time for some inter-league play. You know, the stuff that the World Series is made of…

     I checked the team website today to see for myself what my mind has a hard time comprehending. Yes, the Orioles are tied for first place. We are about a quarter of the way through the season and, as of this writing, Buck’s Boys have won 29 games. They’ve beaten up on some old adversaries. They’ve taken their share of licks and come out still tickin’.

     Whodathunk? If you asked me last year if this was possible, I’d say no. Many here in Bird Land still are in disbelief. The team is now really putting butts in the seats at Camden Yards. There was a large sea of orange to compete with the Red Sox fans in a recent series. There’s almost as much orange in the stands when the Yankees come to town too. Serious fan frenzy exists here in Baltimore, to the extent that the Ravens can hold their off season practices without too much fanfare.

     This fan frenzy was really visible in a recent inter-league series between the Orioles and the Washington Nationals. The really crazy thing was that it was a battle of 2 first place Eastern division teams that were last year’s cellar dwellers. Again with the “whodathunk?”

     For those of you unfamiliar with this area, there are about 40 miles or so between Baltimore and Washington. It’s a relatively straight shot down I-95 from Camden Yards until you get lost finding Nationals Stadium in D.C. It really is easier to take public transportation to Nats Park. Many media pundits tend to blend Baltimore and Washington together like it’s one big mega-city. Both have similar crime statistics. Both cities have lots of auto traffic. Both have culturally diverse populations. But both also have unique identities. Baltimore - to me - has an old city feel with neighborhoods that reflect the original immigrants who settled there. Washington is more cosmopolitan, more transient. There’s lots more history honored in DC, but people visit that city and sometimes only stay for 4 years. (ask any presidential candidate or staff member)

     Washington did have its own baseball team for years - the Washington Senators. They played in DC from 1901 until 1960, mostly under the name of the Senators. In 1960, Major League Baseball expanded teams and the Senators moved to Minnesota and became the Twins. The city held the rights to the names “Senators” and “Nationals” (another of their team names from 1905 - 1955). The team records were less than stellar. Oh, there was the World Series win in 1924 and their last World Series appearance in 1933. After those glory days, not so much in the win column. But the location made for great photo ops for politicians who dream of baseball stardom.

     Moving the team to the twin cities area of Minneapolis-St. Paul in Minnesota (AHA! Now you know where the moniker “Twins” comes from) left baseball fans in DC without a team. Another Senators franchise surfaced after 1960, but left town to become the Texas Rangers in 1972. Most people who live in DC are from somewhere else, so those fans kept their home town loyalty. But those native to DC migrated north and supported the Baltimore Orioles. It was a marriage of necessity for DC residents. There was no other major league team closer to DC than Baltimore.

     Before the 2005 season, many wondered if this area could support two Major League Baseball franchises. In 2005, the Orioles were in the middle of a “fight for last place in the AL East” With either Toronto or the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (that’s what they were called, folks). The Montreal Expos were in serious trouble financially at that time. Dozens of people showed up to the games (not thousands). So that franchise moved to DC and became the current Washington Nationals.  The first few years they played like a bunch of transplanted Expos. But last year they started a winning “Natitude” and were putting more butts in the seats of the stadium. Things were looking up for DC and baseball.

     And last year things started looking up for the Orioles. They started the season well, then spent most of the rest of the season in their usual funk. They just couldn’t pull it together. They either had pitching or they had hitting, but never the two together. The bull pen was bull, too. But something gelled at the end of last season. They went on a “If-we-aren’t-going-to-the-playoffs-you-aren’t-either” win streak. If you played the O’s, your ranking in the division wasn’t safe. Ask the Red Sox and Terry Francona (now of ESPN because he didn’t get the Sox to the series). Baltimore played like they had nothing to lose – because they were in the basement of the division – again.

     Two teams in the same general neighborhood playing great, always broadcast on TV – is this a great place for baseball nut or what? So what happens when they play each other? Lots of just plain fun, that’s what.

     This past series was in DC and so many O’s fans went down for the game, it was fantastic. You could watch and see O’s orange and Nats red all over a packed house. Colors were interspersed in the crowd. Families had divided team loyalties, but still had a great time.  There was even a “Let’s go O’s” and “Let’s go Nats” chant smack down during the games. It had the atmosphere of 2 high school rivals playing football – without the required fight after the game.

     Refreshing? You bet. I’ve heard stories about other parks, like Yankee Stadium. Not sure if they are true or not, but I’m not about to find out. That’s my last ball park in my bucket list quest to see them all.

     Makes you wonder too… If two fan bases could sit next to each other during a game without hostilities, why can’t the bigger nations do the same? Or maybe we should scrap wars altogether and settle things on the ball field… Hmmmm….

     At any rate, in this tale of two cities, both towns had a boat load of fun, both in the park and in the media. The Orioles took two and the Nationals won the Sunday game. Oh, and Teddy didn’t win the Presidents race… again…still. But if the Nats get to the Series….? And if the O’s get to the Series…? Don’t know if some of our hearts can handle that one.

     Oh, and I am using Rule # 40 and am very grateful for this season so far. I just hope I didn’t jinx either team.

     If you are into a bit of baseball history, check out these websites. You all know that Wikipedia is not 100% authoritative, but the Sports Encyclopedia is. Enjoy your searching.

www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Nationals

http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com/al/wasdc/nats.html

www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore_Orioles

http://www.baseball-almanac.com/teams/balt.shtml

Crashing!

Rule #4 – Write from your experiences

     Remember when I told you my husband and I watched only 5 or 6 channels of our Comcast lineup? Ok, I lied… It’s more like 10. Add to the mix HGTV and DIY Network.

     I’ve always loved the home decorator shows on HGTV. Absolutely loved “Garden Police” when it was on. The premise was that 2 landscapers burst in on homeowners and redid their front yards. Move now to “Curb Appeal“. Same idea, different opening/host. I was really hooked on “Neat” too. I got some great organizational strategies watching that show.

     Most of the above have been moved to DIY Network or other networks in reruns. DIY then introduced their Crashers series. You have “House Crasher,” “Yard Crasher,” “Bath Crasher,” “Kitchen Crasher“ … all with the idea that someone gets you to take them home, and redo the room/yard/bathroom/kitchen in a set amount of time. It could be 2 or 3 days depending on the project/crash.

     Now I have a question: How in the name of all that is holy can you get “Crashed” in 2 or 3 days? I mean really… 2 or 3 days for a major renovation… in my hometown? Not happening!!!!

     When watching my favorite, “Yard Crashers,” I see this herd of people crawling all over the yard. I wonder if they don’t get in each other’s way. And layering the projects? How does that happen if everyone is there at the same time? Basic question: when does the concrete dry???

     I wonder what the yards look like a year after crashing… (insert smile). Did the homeowner keep up with the upkeep?

     What brings this to mind now is that we are embarking on a major renovation. We’ve lived in our house for almost 30 years and we still have the kitchen that came with the house. Most people would not have a problem with that. I do and I don’t. The cupboards are starting to bow from the weight of the stuff on the shelves. Bottom cupboards allow for sleeper cells of salad oil, corn meal and other things to hide and just stay there to work some kind of magic until they expire. Some top cupboards are totally unusable because of accessibility issues. I actually found some cans buried in the back of cupboards that might allow me to set up a renegade botox clinic. Such treasures to find… or such waste… I am not sure. We’ve seen lots of houses NOT sell in this current market. Realtors keep telling sellers that things need to be updated. Home buyers are too busy - or too lazy - to do their own design work.

     What gets me in the process is the prep time. We spent time searching for a contractor. When we finally found one who would work on the design process, we started that portion of the project. So many beautiful cabinet designs are out there! Talk about eye candy.

     And then there is countertops and backsplashes… now that took research. Do I want what is popular? Do I take a realtor’s advice on my purchase? Or do I chuck the whole thing and get what I want? (Monte, I’ll take door 3)

     Floors are an issue here too. I know what I want and it will spread into the dining room. So, technically, we are crashing 2 rooms here.

     Oh and this little thing of removing walls and moving doors….

     By the time, we signed the contract - and wrote the first check - it was about a year later, and we were almost exhausted. How do “Crash” victims deal with what is done to their properties? What if your tastes don’t jive with the Crash designers? How many crashes were undone? And how do they get that design done overnight?

    Anyway, the process is underway… or as we say the beast was unleashed. We found a very reputable contractor who will handle the entire job. And we found him the old fashioned way - we talked to people. Nope, we are not “Angie’s Listers.” We have a fairly accurate assessment of job completion. And, no Tom Hanks, it won’t take another 2 weeks (like in “The Money Pit”).

     And we are not done prepping!!! We did get our new “fandolier” for the kitchen. I would like to get a new light fixture for the dining room, too. Now to choose paint colors… OY squared! My eyes hurt from all the color comparisons and my head hurts from the decision-making work.

     When I broke the news of the renovation to my family members, my sister had one request: “Don’t be like Mom was when we had our kitchen done. She didn’t understand the long term process and how one thing has to get done before something else gets done.”

     My late mother - the Crash fan?? She wanted it done in 2 days?

     Well, folks, I do have a lot of patience. Having a schedule in front of me should put my mind at ease and get me into the proper “psyche” frame of mind for this. But, by the calendar, I have about 3 weeks before initial demo starts. Must start packing up the dining room and the kitchen!

     Whoa!!! Have I got a lot of stuff!

     Note to self:  Rewatch “Neat” and purge, purge, purge. You have the opportunity so take it.

...On Teaching....

Rule # 1 - Be passionate.
Rule # 2 - Write from what you know.

     I sit here today with Teacher Appreciation Week - at least that’s what it is in Maryland - done and over. Not sure if this is a national thing or not.  I have vivid memories of this week when I was still teaching.

     Some schools make a big deal of appreciating the teachers during this week. PTAs usually treat the teachers and staff to lunch. Sometimes, small gifts find there way into teacher mailboxes. One school I worked at had a daily drawing for gift baskets. Other schools only made announcements over the p.a. system about appreciating the teachers in kid’s lives. At the high school level, most kids blew off the announcements and also, the reminders.

     My biggest memories of this week were of the last 3 years of teaching. I was in a middle school – you know, the SERIOUSLY hormonally challenged kids. Teaching FACS – or Home Ec for us over 25 – let me teach some great career skills. I had a project for my 8th graders based on Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice”. The kids grouped themselves, planned a luncheon with menu and decorations, and kept this event within a certain budget. They “sold” their idea on presentation boards and “pitched” the idea to their class. All boards were put in a central location for voting. The winning group got to host the event as the “boss”, and hire their cook and wait staff for the event. It was an intense process for me in planning the dates and clearing calendars. It was really intense for the kids, because they got a real taste of the world of catering and event planning. The event for the last 3 years was a Teacher Appreciation Luncheon. We worked our butts off and had a blast. The kids really looked forward to participating as “employees” of my Crazy 8’s Catering Company. My fellow teachers also looked forward to the process of voting and visiting the luncheon. Helping to honor my peers was one of the most satisfying parts of the job.

     I really thought I was doing a great job with the kids. And, on top of that, I was very happy and looked forward to going to work each day. I was excited about the lessons I taught, especially the job lessons.

     But then came a voice from administration that what I taught didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Said to my face - in front of my peers and my team. Said often, too. Said in a way that was supposed to belittle me personally. I was often reminded that what I taught in FACS (home ec) was not of the state sponsored tests at all so why do the kids need to learn this stuff? Why learn nutrition? Why learn different methods of cooking? Why learn how to sew or take care of clothing? Why on earth would anyone need to learn money management? Talk about useless skills….  I should get a job teaching real math…

      It’s precisely this attitude voiced by administration that helped me make my decision to leave teaching. There really isn’t anything wrong with public education - that students who care, admins who lead and not butt in, and losing all lawyers and politicians wouldn’t cure. I found the school where I worked moving toward a faculty of robotic yes-people. They didn’t want teachers with their own ideas on how and what to teach… they wanted to make over the newbies in their own image. There was a move in the school to have everyone use the same terminology, same teaching strategies, and same philosophy. We were to differentiate instruction for the 30 to 40 kids we saw per hour, but we weren’t to be a bit independent or creative in the way we presented our information. Everyone in every class had to be at the same knowledge point at the same time. Kids were having terminology and philosophy literally shoved down their throats. Why? Because it supposedly brought test scores up. And test scores say the kids will be successful (which any sane person knows is bull….).

     Folks, I got tired of being the plumber’s helper, shoving information into a cranial cavity. There is no state-sponsored FACS exam… only that most questions on the state test are FACS based (especially the math ones), as I found out reading the tests. My discipline has a higher testing criteria - LIFE! What I taught to my students serves them in the long term later down the road of life. It’s not something that you can test on a multiple choice test and say they have it. I mean, really… our child care unit???? Our parenting courses???? You can’t test that knowledge out until you become a parent… and even then, there’s no “right” or “best” answer. But the knowledge you get as a 7th grader or in high school, will come back to you when you are a parent. At least, if you are permitted to take the courses and fit them into your schedule …

     Many people wonder why I quit teaching, and now you know. I sit on the educational sidelines and shudder sometimes at the “new” things being presented to the world as educational miracles. I read No Child Left Behind’s text and found it so ambiguous that you could have 50 different interpretations and still get it right. The only thing that is a true failure of NCLB is the 100% compliance rate. Acquiring an education is a behavior and its measurement makes it a behavioral statistic. Any statistician knows that you will never get 100% compliance in a behavior-based measurement, and to require it sets you and your program up for failure. Also, if I may pay honor to Sir Issac Newton and his laws of physics: For every valid statistic used to justify a point of view, there is an opposite and equally valid statistic that will justify the opposing point of view. 

     So, I still have several ideas on education that I will share with you all now. Here goes, from the heart of a former teacher:

1.  Not all kids should go to college and get advance degrees. Schools should stop pushing college-immediately-after-high-school on the students.

2.  Trade schools are the best, because then, you can get a job in your field. Way too many women’s studies majors are working at McDonalds (and that‘s the guys who majored in women‘s studies for all the wrong reasons, too).

3.  If you do go to college, get a degree in something that will land you a job in that field. Going to college to find yourself just means you (or your folks) have more money than common sense.

4.  If you have a degree of any level, it doesn’t make you better or smarter than anyone else. You can be book-smart and life-stupid. Lose the academic snobbery. You are not too good to clean up after yourself. And your plumber or auto mechanic will make you look foolish, because they are just as smart as you in their own way, if not smarter.

5.  Parents, let your kids fail. If they aren’t doing the work, let them reap the “rewards“, even if it means repeating a grade.

6.  Also, parents, remember that you have already been to and completed your basic schooling. You do not need to keep running interference for your child with his/her teachers. Your child will learn to advocate for themselves. It’s their turn to be in school.

7.  Kids, when you decide on what you want to be when you grow up, look also at all the other things you can do with your life, with your passions, and with your talents. Somewhere there is a career blend that will use all your skills. Go for it and target your education strategy to your career goal, even if it drives your guidance counselor nuts. There is no reason why you can’t graduate high school with enough college prep credits to get into college AND some marketable business job skills. It’s almost required now, in the business world.

8.  Always have a viable alternate plan B (or C or D…).

9. Decide to be happy, whatever happens.

10. Appreciate the fact that you - regardless of race, creed, gender, or legal citizenship - ALREADY have access to all the opportunities to become as educated as you want to be. You do not need to be “given” an education. You have the ability to go out and get it. So get off your butts and get more knowledge. Appreciate the fact you HAVE great teachers and learn from them.

     I didn’t mean for this to become an editorial, but there were some things I really needed to vent. You may or may not agree with any or all of this. That’s fine by me. Let me know what you think and it will make for a lively discussion. We can all be “right” on this subject.

     Remember, though, that teachers are the infantry on the front lines on the war on ignorance. Don’t forget to thank your teachers. And if you are a praying person, pray for them, too. It’s not an easy job and it’s not getting any easier. Respect the fact that they are doing the best they can and they really do have the kid‘s best interests in mind.

     Believe me, I know….

Harmon-izing

Rule #14 – Observe everything

     By the way, what’s up with these rules, anyway?

     Let me explain. No, let me sum up… my daughter started it. Yes, it’s true. Before Christmas, neither my husband nor I even considered watching NCIS. We are History Channel buffs. When in season, though, it’s always baseball or football games. So really, we only use 5 or 6 channels regularly out of the thousand offered by Comcast.

      Just before Christmas, we got DVR service with our cable. Now we can “tape” and watch shows at our convenience. Just what two under-exercised people need….not!

      Enter my husband’s visit to our daughter. He spent a few days at her house where he was introduced to NCIS, both new ones and repeats. Let’s just say, he was addicted immediately and shared his addiction with me when he got home. I am so hooked! As of now, we still have 18 episodes to watch off the DVR. We are only now getting to a point where they are familiar.

     What could possibly trigger this effect? Try decent dramatic writing. The show has characters that the audience can relate to as everyday people. I can see people I know in each person on the show. I know strong women like Kate and Ziva, who are not afraid to show their strength and smarts. I know several extremely smart McGee’s and Abby’s who just seem to know how to get the information they need. I taught DiNozzo’s for 18 years in high school and middle school, who were so busy trying to be funny and be liked they forgot, occasionally, to be human and considerate. I know several “Ducky”s, who have a historical anecdote for every occasion, like it or not. And there’s the leader of this pack, Gibbs (Mark Harmon’s character). I know several people like Gibbs – strong, leery of authority figures, not fond of political processes, flawed occasionally, the gentle foot in the tush of his co-workers. I always wished to have the guts to head slap my students when needed, like Gibbs head slaps the team members. (I worked in a school, and with the current school climate, I would have been arrested for assault, even if the kid had it coming to them) I see a lot of myself in the Gibbs character. And, it’s not just the grey hair, either.

     Now, I do not like wasting time. Sitting and vegging in front of a TV screen are not things I consider appropriate for all hours of the day and night. It’s great when you need a break, or are really sick. But generally speaking, there are better things to do with your time than to just watch TV all day. But like I said, we are addicted to the show. We’re sitting….. and sitting….and sitting….catching up on nine years worth of shows….

     Ok, Self. Turn this into a positive…  Gibbs has rules. Write your own rules like Gibbs does.

     So that’s where the “rule” thing came from. I wrote Gibbs-style Rules for Writing Right. I’m using those rules to drive the blog here. I am actively using Rule #20 – Draw inspiration from anything and everything! I’m only up to 39 rules while Gibbs has over 50. Whatever works here!

     Sounds like a bunch of excuses? Not really… it did make for a cool topic for a guest blog I did for B. Swangin Webster. I went to a conference where I met B. We discussed how we get started on writing projects. She wanted to know how I find stuff to blog about. We decided to guest on each other’s blog. Here’s the link to my posting on her blog:

http://booksshoeswriting.blogspot.com/2012/03/getting-adventures-started-in-life-of.html

Check it out! Here I focused on a different style of writing – Rule #24. Practice, practice practice. She has a totally different style of writing. I learned a lot from her.

     Now, what might be next for future posts? More baseball? Most definitely. Gardening events? Of course! Adventures into kitchen remodeling? You betcha! Travel reviews? Naturally! Restaurant reviews? Sure, if I can pry myself away from the restaurant. Daily life? Injected as necessary. My angst while trying to write children’s books? Did you think you wonderful readers would get out of that one? It will be here, I promise, especially if I have trouble getting back into the rabbit’s head.

     Ok, now to go to Rule #33 – Eventually, good enough is good enough. Time to get to other writing assignments.

     And that – as the late, great Paul Harvey would say – is the rest of the story….